Jack Handey is a gift

From The Mysteries of Humor by Jack Handey. Jack Handey's oeuvre at Amazon.

Are some things never funny, like a man accidentally chopping off his finger with a hatchet, and wrapping up the finger and taking it to the hospital, then discovering that it isn’t his finger but one of the Vienna sausages he was having for lunch, and then eating the sausage?

In our household, Handey is used as a quick and cheap diagnostic of gender dysphoria. Based on empirical data, a Y chromosome appears necessary in order to appreciate Handey.