Chuck Norris facts are the only facts worth remembering.

One of my sons went through a Chuck Norris Facts phase circa 8-12 years old.  It seems fitting to note Norris's passing with some of these from Wikipedia's Chuck Norris facts.  I recognize most of them even these many years later.  Maybe there's a new one - Chuck Norris facts are the only facts worth remembering.  

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a king cobra; after ten excruciating minutes, the cobra died. – Believed to be the first Chuck Norris "fact"

They tried to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't tough enough for his beard. – Stated by Norris to be his personal favorite "fact".

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the Earth down.

Chuck Norris has a polar bear rug at home. It's not dead; it's just afraid to move.

Chuck Norris once threw a hand grenade and killed fifty people; then it exploded.

When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he doesn’t get wet – the water gets Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror it shatters. Because not even glass is foolish enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

There was once a street named after Chuck Norris, but the name was changed as nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris doesn't own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is dish best served cold.

Chuck Norris won an arm wrestling tournament, with both hands tied behind his back.

Chuck Norris plays Jenga with Stonehenge.

The Flash discovered how to run at the speed of light when he found out Chuck Norris was looking for him.

Beneath Chuck Norris's beard is another fist.

When the bogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.

The Swiss Army uses Chuck Norris knives.

Ghosts tell Chuck Norris stories around the campfire.

Chuck Norris's Social Security number is the last nine digits of pi.

There is no such thing as evolution, only a list of species Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way. You know how that turned out.

In the Beginning, there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a coal mine and turned it into a diamond mine.

Chuck Norris actually died 20 years ago, but Death hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Death was once badly shaken by a near-Chuck Norris experience.

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.

Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully-loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris can speak Braille and hear sign language.

Chuck Norris's diary is called the Guinness Book of World Records.

Chuck Norris is the only man that can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.

If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Chuck Norris once killed 2 stones with one bird.

The Sun wears Chuck Norris glasses.

Astrophysicists have determined that the amount of energy released during the Big Bang was equivalent to 0.8794 CNʳʰK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicks).

The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was the one time that he imagined that he was mistaken.

When Chuck Norris walks into a room, he does not turn on the light. He turns off the dark.

Jesus could walk on water. Chuck Norris could swim on land.