Dogmeat General, the basest warlord. And poet.

The stories large and small that still await discovery.  How can anyone ever be bored.

I just came across Zhang Zongchang, hearing him described as "the best warrior poet of China during the warlords era."  Ironically, as it turns out.  From Wikipedia:

Zhang Zongchang (Chinese: 張宗昌; pinyin: Zhāng Zōngchāng; also romanized as Chang Tsung-chang; 1881 – 3 September 1932), courtesy name Xiaokun, was a Chinese warlord who ruled Shandong from 1925 to 1928. A member of the Fengtian clique, Zhang was notorious for his brutal and ruthless behavior, eccentric personality, and extravagant lifestyle, which earned him nicknames such as the "Dogmeat General"; Time in 1927 dubbed him China's "basest warlord".

Zhang's troops were defeated by the National Revolutionary Army during the Northern Expedition in 1928, and he fled to Japan before returning to Shandong in 1932, where he was assassinated by a young officer.

Hard not to excerpt the whole entry for its improbable reality.

Zhang was born in 1881 in Ye County (掖縣, now Laizhou city) in Shandong. His family was poor. Zhang's father worked as a head shaver and trumpeter, and was an alcoholic. His mother was an exorcist and "practicing witch". His parents eventually separated. Zhang stayed with his mother who had taken a new lover. In his teens, Zhang's family moved to Manchuria (which was known as Chuang Guandong at that time), where Zhang became involved in petty crime in Harbin. He successively worked as a pickpocket, bouncer, and prospector. At some point, he worked in Siberia, learning Russian. Zhang eventually became a bandit in the Chinese countryside, though he served as auxiliary for the Imperial Russian Army during the Russo-Japanese War in 1904–1905. Following the conflict, he returned to crime and rose to lead his own bandit gang.

Alcoholic head shaver and exorcist/practicing witch - Chinese genealogy is lit.

There is a whole section on his nicknames.  

"Old Eighty-Six": The origin of this nickname is unclear. According to rumour it either referred to his height or to the length of his penis, which was said to measure up to a pile of 86 Mexican silver dollars when erect. Mexican silver dollars were a common currency in China at the time.

During the 1920s warlord era in China, Mexican silver dollars were a common currency?  Really?

The entry is just filled with arresting facts and writing.  

Zhang was notorious for his hobby of splitting the skulls of prisoners with his sword, and for hanging dissidents from telephone poles. Despite his negative reputation, however, Zhang was also known to be very sociable, charming and commanded the respect of his troops as well as superiors.

It just doesn't stop.  There has to be a movie about such an improbable character.

Zhang loved to boast about the size of his penis, which became part of his legend. He was a "well-known womanizer" and polygamist. At the height of his power, he had some 30 to 50 concubines of different nationalities, who were given numbers since he could not remember their names nor speak their language. According to Time, several of his concubines had been forcibly seized from rich families in Shandong. However, some of his concubines stayed with him throughout his career, with him marrying the earliest when he was still a coolie. His concubines included Chinese, Japanese, Russians, Koreans, Mongolians and at least one American. According to research by journalist John Gunther, his harem included concubines of 26 different nationalities. Zhang reportedly ate meat of black Chow Chow dogs every day, as it was popularly believed at the time that this meat would boost a man's virility. He was free with his gifts, lavishly squandering money and concubines on superiors and friends. As a result, his commanders were very loyal to him, contributing to his military success.

OK, enough distractions.  What about the poetry?

Although only semi-literate, Zhang Zongchang was also known for writing poetry, though his works (such as the "Poem about bastards", the "Daming Lake poem", "Visiting Penglai Pavilion", and "Pray for Rain") are generally considered to be quite bad. However, according to Zhang's fourth daughter Zhang Chunsui, Zhang was not in the habit of writing poems. Some sources have also disputed these poems as being fabrications made by his political opponent Han Fuju to slander him. When asked about where he got his education, Zhang liked to say that he went to the 'College of the Green Forest,' a common euphemism for banditry at the time.

Poem About Bastards was the fleeting reference that started me down this alley.

Poem About Bastards

by Zhang Zongchang

You tell me to do this,

He tells me to do that.

You're all bastards,

Go fuck your mother.