Active or passive problem identification

From the Blogger named Bulldog at Maggie's Farm.

An interesting observation and reflection.

Kobe's personal issues aside, he was an excellent speaker. I thought I'd find him difficult to listen to. However, this is a guy who has transformed himself more than once, and I find people like that intriguing. Right now, he's building a studio to produce films and TV. It helps if you have his status and friends, of course. It helps more if you come from Los Angeles and are beloved there, as he is. Lots of people want to help. Still, even with all those connections and assistance, you need ideas and the right attitude, as well as a commitment to work. Kobe clearly has all of these.

What struck me, however, was one thing he said. He was commenting on how to focus, in particular at the free-throw line. He said people who get nervous are thinking about themselves and how they are perceived. I agree. “Dissolve into the situation. It’s not about you.”

Unquestionably the right attitude. But I think this is an attitude we can apply almost everywhere. I was speaking to a friend about the shutdown and they commented on how personal it was. They hadn't been furloughed, they hadn't lost a paycheck, they didn't even work for the government. But to them it was 'personal' because someone was losing a paycheck. I said "big deal - people lose a paycheck every day in the private sector and nobody says BOO unless it's a recession, then we look to blame it on a politician who probably had next to nothing to do with the recessionary cycle. So a few non-essential government workers lost a paycheck? Big deal. Goes to show you how much we can cut government and not feel the pain."

"But those people feel the pain - that's why it's personal."

No, it's not about THEM. It's never about them. It's about something else. They just happen to want to make it personal, and so does the media, because they are playing with your emotions. We can lament the loss of anyone's paycheck, any day of the week, and we should. But there are no guarantees in life, but we want to believe these guarantees are about us every time. They aren't.

Let me put it this way. I've had 4 bouts of unemployment in my life. The first 2, I believed it was someone else's fault (and certainly, to a small degree, it probably was), I came to believe being laid off was intensely personal. It can be, if you let it. After the last 2 layoffs, I realized it's not about whose fault it is, or whether it's personal, it's just up to me to fix the situation and make it better, and I did. It wasn't ever personal. The only 'personal' part was deciding that nothing is guaranteed unless I work at it for myself.

When we personalize something, it can take two different forms, an active or passive.

Here is the problem I am facing and how I am planning to deal with it

or

Here is a problem that needs to be solved.

People used to own the first approach but we seem to have been eliding into the second.