From Lanzarote by Michel Houellebecq
The same cannot be said of the English, nor of the more general mystery of the English holiday maker. There's no such mystery to the Germans (who will go anywhere there's sun), still less to the Italians (who will go anywhere there's a cute ass); as for the French, let's not even go there. Alone among Europeans in the middle- and higher-income brackets, the English are notable by their absence from mainstream holiday destinations. Nevertheless, meticulous and systematic research, supported by considerable data makes it possible to map their movements during summer pasturing. They gather in small groups and head for unlikely islands absent from Continental holiday brochures—Malta, Madeira or, indeed Lanzarote. Once there, they duplicate the principal elements of their home environment right there. When asked to explain their choice of destination, they give answers which are evasive and tautological: 'I came because I came here last year.' It is apparent that the Englishman is not motivated by a keen appetite for discovery. Indeed, one may observe that he is not interested in architecture, landscapes, in anything whatsoever. In the early evening, after a short trip to the beach, he is to be found drinking bizarre cocktails. The presence of the English at a resort, therefore, is no guide to the intrinsic interest of the destination, its splendour or its possible tourist potential. The Englishman goes to a particular tourist destination purely because he certain that the will meet other Englishmen there. In this, he is diametrically opposed to the Frenchman, a vain creature, so enamored of himself that the mere sight of a compatriot abroad is anathema to him. For this reason, Lanzarote is a destination to be recommended to the French.
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