Your cat died.

From Life is a Joke, 100 Life Lessons by John and Gordon Javna.

—57— Bad News

“Bad news isn’t wine. It doesn’t improve with age.”

—Colin Powell

A woman goes on vacation and leaves her cat with her sister. A few days later she calls and asks her sister how the cat is doing.

“Bad news,” says the sister. “Your cat died.”

The woman gets furious. “That’s how you tell me my beloved cat is gone? You should have said something like, ‘The cat’s on the roof and we can’t get it down.’ And then when I called the next day you could have said, ‘The cat came down off the roof, but it’s in really bad shape and the vet doesn’t think the poor thing is going to make it.’ And when I called the next day, then you could have told me the cat died!”

“I’m really sorry,” said the sister.

“I’m sorry too,” the woman said after a long pause. “I guess I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. You know, it was just such a shock. Anyway, how’s Mom?”

“Umm . . . she’s on the roof and we can’t get her down.”