We are required to make crucial choices before we have the knowledge, judgment and self-understanding to choose wisely but delay can bring worse outcomes

From The Seasons of a Man's Life by Daniel Levinson. Page 102.

Young men who make a strong occupational commitment in the early twenties, without sufficient exploration of external options and inner preferences, often come to regret it later. On the other hand, those who don't make a commitment until the thirties, or who never make one, are deprived of the satisfaction of engaging in enduring work that is suitable for the self and valuable for society. One of the great paradoxes of human development is that we are required to make crucial choices before we have the knowledge, judgment and self-understanding to choose wisely. Yet, if we put off these choices until we feel truly ready, the delay may produce other and greater costs. This is especially true of the two great choices of early adulthood: occupation and marriage.

A paradox for which there is no algorithmic solution.  Culture, religion, social class, and family culture all provide frameworks and heuristic tools to address this consequential decision-making but there are no cookie-cutter answers.  Every unique individual in a unique, chaotic, and evolving context is going to arrive at more-or-less informed decisions which are - unique.

The collective and institutional degradation of family, religion, culture and class since the the 1960s has removed much of this architecture which used to ease these predictable transitions in life.  The paradoxes are in our nature and do not go away.  But we can be more or less prepared for them.  Stripping away the embedded knowledge and wisdom of family, religion, culture and class has left young men with the same existential paradoxes to confront but with fewer tools and frameworks to be be successful doing so.