However, one must not indulge too much in victimhood

From A Treasury of Jewish Folklore by Nathan Ausubel.

Grief in Moderation

When the Temple was destroyed by Titus the Wicked, there were among Jews many, particularly Pharisees, who took a vow never again to eat meat or drink wine.

“Why don’t you eat meat and drink wine?” Rabbi Joshua asked them.

They lamented: “How can we eat flesh that formerly was brought as a sacrifice upon the Temple altar when now we may no longer sacrifice? How can we drink wine which the priests used to pour upon the Temple altar when now we no longer have any altar?”

“In that case,” argued Rabbi Joshua, “we shouldn’t eat any bread either, because, since the destruction of the Temple, sacrifices of flour also have been abolished.”

“You’re right,” they answered, “we can substitute fruit for bread.”

“How can we eat fruit?” Rabbi Joshua asked. “The first fruits were also brought to Jerusalem for the Temple’s use and now that such offerings have been abolished, we shouldn’t eat them.”

“Possibly we could eat fruits from which such offerings did not have to be made,” ventured the Pharisees.

“Let’s stop drinking water,” Rabbi Joshua continued, “because the water-libation for the altar has also been abolished.”

At this the Pharisees fell silent; they did not know what to answer. Seeing that he had brought them back to reason. Rabbi Joshua said to them:

“My children, pay heed to what I’m going to tell you. It would be impossible to expect us not to grieve, for indeed a bitter fate has befallen us. However, one must not indulge too much in grief. It is wrong to impose upon the Jewish people burdens that they cannot bear.”