Perhaps we should not expect self-awareness from a man who, in writing to his wife, compares her to a horse—to the horse’s advantage.

From Parallel Lives by Phyllis Rose.  The following excerpt is on John Ruskin and his marriage.  

It was her duty to attend to him, not his, as she seemed to expect, to attend to her. Ruskin could never see the disintegration of his marriage in any other light and consequently felt not the slightest remorse for his behavior. (Perhaps we should not expect self-awareness from a man who, in writing to his wife, compares her to a horse—to the horse’s advantage.) In 1854 he sent a letter to his old friend at Oxford, Dr. Acland, which he believed to vindicate himself completely. “Most men, I suppose, find their wives a comfort, & a help. I found mine perpetually in need of comfort—& in need of help, and as far as was in my power, I gave her both. I found however that the more I gave the less I was thanked—and I would not allow the main work of my life to be interfered with. I would not spend my days in leaving cards, nor my nights in leaning against the walls of drawing rooms.” All in all, he did not think many husbands could look back upon their married lives with more security of having done all they could for their wives[…]”