In the hierarchy of cognitive ability, the amoeba apparently outranks the college administrator.

Even simple life-forms like amoebae have the capacity to respond to negative external shocks. It would seem that institutions of higher learning ought to exhibit the same capacity to recognize and respond to negative feedback. But no.

From Mizzou warns against 'exclusionary' colors, ‘triggering’ events by Anthony Gockowski. This is the university whose craven response to ignorant student postmodernist demands led to the resignation of the president, the chancellor, the drop in enrollments of some 25-30% and the closure of seven dorms. Having demonstrated fear of anarchists, capitulation to foolish and unwarranted postmodernist demands, having sheltered professors who abhor free speech, the university, unlike an amoeba, seems a glutton for punishment.

The University of Missouri recently released a set of guidelines on how to host inclusive events, asking students to consider having “a counselor present” for “potentially triggering” events.

The guidelines, broken up into six sections of “who, when, where, why, what, [and] how,” offer students an examination of sorts for “how to think inclusively when planning an event,” listing dozens of questions they should ask themselves during the planning stages.

“If my event is potentially triggering, have I consulted with someone from the counseling center or have a counselor present?” one question asks, followed by another that implores students to consider whether “a ‘safe’ or ‘brave’ space” is necessary for the event.

Another series of questions deals with appropriate advertisements for events, warning students to be “conscious of the colors and how they can be exclusionary or stereotypical” while considering if the language used on advertisements “can potentially be bias [sic].”

“Am I conscious of not tokenizing individuals, but still working to actively reflect your program/initiative?” another item reminds students to ask themselves.

Yet another set of questions focuses on the “decorations” used at events, which students should assure “aren’t culturally appropriative or misrepresenting to other cultures” by “doing my research on a culture I am attempting to appreciate.”

The guidelines also caution students against non-”welcoming” locations, noting that “bars, churches, temples, etc. may not feel exclusive, but may be perceived as such by some.”

Similarly, the school even advises students to be judicious about serving refreshments, telling them to ensure that there are vegetarian options and to consider “having Kosher food, Halal food, or periods of fasting.”

Following the extensive list of questions, the document concludes with a disclaimer cautioning that “this list is not an end all be all checklist for inclusion.”

This is the paragraph that especially grabbed my attention.

The University of Missouri recently released a set of guidelines on how to host inclusive events, asking students to consider having “a counselor present” for “potentially triggering” events.

What sane student would wish to have a counselor present at a party or other event? When did commissars become a feature of university life? I know postmodernism has many of its roots in various branches of marxism but I never anticipated that American universities would be so brazen as to have figures of authority interjected into student events in order to police speech and behavior to ensure adherence to sanctioned ideology. For those of us who lived in the shadow of the Soviet Union in the 1960s and 1970s, the introduction of commissars into American universities is a chilling development.

And is there not one sane person in the Mizzou administration who might not have considered that if a little postmodernist repressive claptrap was bad that perhaps more postmodernist repressive claptrap would be worse? Apparently not. The grey face of college bureaucratic administration apparently has less an instinct for survival than the lowly amoeba.