Advice to the English Department by Joseph S. Salemi

Advice to the English Department 

by Joseph S. Salemi

Instead of reading Marx and Hegel 

Have yourself a cream cheese bagel. 

Skip Foucault, ignore Lacan —

Order up a coq au vin. 

Sick of texte by Derrida? 

Cherchez la cuisine, comme ca. 

People who are in the know 

Turn to escalopes de veau 

Rather than get mental canker 

Wading through some verbose wanker.