If I owned two plantations

From A treasury of American anecdotes; sly, salty, shaggy stories of heroes and hellions, beguilers and buffoons, spellbinders and scapegoats, gagsters and gossips, from the grassroots and sidewalks of America by Benjamin Albert Botkin. 

When General Philip H. Sheridan was in command of the Military Division of the Gulf, with headquarters at San Antonio, Texas, he was asked by a reporter what he thought of Texas as a country to live in. “If I owned two plantations,” said General Sheridan, “and one was located in Texas and the other one was in hell, I’d rent out the one in Texas and live on the other one.” The editor of a Waco newspaper printed the remark with a single line of editorial comment. “Well, damn a man that won’t stand up for his own country.”