It was as pointlessly presumptuous to try to change them as it was impertinent to pity them.

From Unnatural Causes by P.D. James.  

One thing was certain. If she did later talk about Sylvia Kedge she wouldn't indulge in sentimental regrets of "If only we had known! If only we could have helped her!" To Jane Dalgliesh people were as they were. It was as pointlessly presumptuous to try to change them as it was impertinent to pity them. Never before had his aunt's uninvolvement struck him so forcibly; never be-fore had it seemed so frightening.